The Little Girl Who Took It Literally (And Got It Right)

Last night I heard the most powerful phrase by a little girl no more than 5 years old, “Daddy, I rubbed some dirt on it. It still hurts but I’ll go rub some more to see if it helps!”

The north end of the football stadium heard these words and the pure innocence of her effort to make the hurt feel better. There was conversation of how she took the phrase literally, when we all knew it meant to toughen up a bit and keep going. 

It instantly took me back to my Dad’s go-to answer any time either myself or my siblings faced a challenge. When I was about 8, I fell off my bike and landed hard. My knee scraped (I still have the rock inside the skin to prove it), pride bruised, I marched into the house hoping for a little sympathy. My Dad barely looked up from the newspaper he was reading and said, “It builds character.” 

The lesson here isn’t about the dirt, of course. Just like it wasn’t about the phrase “It builds character.” It was about learning how to keep going, even when things hurt, whether that’s a scraped knee, a broken heart, or a difficult day at work.

There’s something powerful about how kids often mirror the adults around them, even if they don’t fully understand the meaning. That little girl at the football game took her dad’s words to heart, not metaphorically, but with full commitment. And isn’t that what we’re all trying to do in some way? Make sense of the pain, and do something, anything that might make it better?

I think back to the countless times I wanted someone to swoop in and fix a problem. Instead, I was met with a steady, non-dramatic, “It builds character.” Frustrating then. Priceless now. Over time, I realized what he was doing. He was telling us we were strong enough to deal with discomfort. That we could figure things out. That we didn’t always need rescuing.

Sometimes, the “dirt” we rub on our wounds looks like trying again after failing. Sometimes, it’s asking for help even though it feels uncomfortable. And sometimes, it’s just waking up and showing up, even if we’re still hurting. 

That little girl reminded me that healing doesn’t always happen all at once. Sometimes, you rub on more dirt, not because it fixes everything, but because it shows you're still trying.